I can't believe that I am leaving in 7 days.  I am very excited for the adventure I am about to embark on and the lessons I am about to learn about God, myself, the global body of Christ and another culture.  

As I begin to prepare for this journey spiritually, mentally and physically, I have had a small epiphany about my personal journey thus far in my life.  I have been working on preparing what I will share as my story and testimony while in the Philippines and this time of reflection showed me one of my flaws that has been the cause of a lot of feelings of anxiety, nervousness, loneliness, and being unwanted.  Throughout the course of my life I have placed much of my identity in those I surround myself with, both family and friends.  There have been many moments when these people have been there for me and have lifted me up to the Lord in prayer, encouraged my growth towards Him and called out His giftings in my life.  Among those moments have been others when those I rested part of my identity and sense of belonging in hurt me or used my reliance on them for their own advantage.  Some of these experiences were very minor and I didn't realize their impact until now; others were more significant and had a major impact at the moment and still do.  

I share this with you because it leads me to a decision I made the other night as a way to start making these moments of misplaced identity right.  A lot of my unrest and anxiety of being wanted by people comes from a slight obsession with romance.  Now, every girl has fantasies and dreams about her future wedding and husband and their relationship and the world makes a fortune off this; but mine was not healthy.  It was becoming an obsession, and it constantly reminded me that I was romantically alone, and that left me unsatisfied.  So, the other night I decided that I am going on a month long (at least) fasting of all things that hint at romance; be they books, songs, TV shows or movies, I am doing all I can to remind myself that my identity and worth is found only in the Lord Jesus Christ, and it shouldn't matter if I feel unwanted by friends or family or if I am getting nervous that my "prince charming" is never coming.  Jesus Christ made me, and can see the woman He is molding me into and that is all I will ever need.  I know that this will be a long journey, but I can't wait to see where the Lord takes me in it.  It has been encouraging to look back over my life and to recognize the voice of God and His showing me more of who He created me to be, and I have just begun.  

One personal journey has begun and another is about to start.  I can't wait to see all that the Lord has in store for me and what He opens my eyes to.